Fierce Self Love

Growing up I didn't feel like a "pretty girl". That was for the girls with petite features, tan skin, the smooth hair, the clothes that weren't wrinkled. I liked hiking in the woods with my brothers and didn't care about my nails or know anything about makeup.

I remember in 5th grade, a girl came up to me (she had brown lipstick on and a high ponytail) and started laughing. 'You're UGLY!". She grabbed her friend to tell her just how ugly I am.

I heard "ugly" so much I wanted to be like the pretty girls. I learned how to do makeup, I'd buy extensions and name brand clothes, get my nails done, get spray tans. It became an obsession to be what I thought was beautiful. Like a Barbie Doll. I started hearing how pretty I was, even beautiful.

I remember in Biloxi meeting my friend at the Casino and I had a black dress on. A soldier watched me walk up the stairs and said "That is the most beautiful girl I ever seen in my life". Then looked at me and said "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen". Then he grabbed his friend to point me out and say just how beautiful I was.

Both the girl in 5th grade and guy in Biloxi had two different perspectives, none of which had to do with me. This year I've learned a lot about self care. I always want to look my best, but without the insecurity fueled obsession.

Beauty is and will always be in the eye of the beholder no matter how many injectables you get, no matter how platinum blonde you are. There will always be haters. There will always be the lovers though, rooting for you.

Choose kindness not just to others, but to yourself. In a society that will break you down - choose to believe in your own unique, strange beauty. Empower yourself. You'll be surprised how many people find inspiration in the fact you love yourself fiercely.