I still see your bright eyes

As we lay you to rest today I can’t help but feel my breathe escape me. How did everything become past tense?

Despite your diagnosis, you were so full of life, of love, of laugher and your undeniable sense of humor. You did not let cancer define you and you made sure you took control of the narrative as you fought a private, valiant battle. You didn’t want sympathy or attention you just wanted to live. And you lived as fully as you could under terms and conditions that were thrown your way that were never fair, never just, that you never agreed to but you lived - still with love, adventure and your beautiful laughter. You were all grace & grit.

We were suppose to get older together. Have tea parties and go to art galleries and ‘90s conventions even in our golden years. Now it’s “she was” instead of “she is” and my heart is so so broken.

My dear girl.

“I still see your bright eyes”